when day doesn't bright.....

when day doesn't bright like it seems,

and night doesn't dark like it meant to be....

when all i have is myself to cry to...

when all i have is me to say to me that 'Everything is going to be ok'....

i don't know what kind of sins i've done...

but this karma is so hard to bare....

i can't sleep at night...

i can't see day light as bright as it seems as my eyes are full of tears...

why it is so hard on me?

now that i has nothing left for that before i have more than i should...

i thought i will be blessed and lucky as i am trying to be faithful...

but no...

nothing is there to bless me....

nothing is there....

just like this favorite picture of mine...

at first, i like it because the lady in this picture is just like me...

in the rain, caught up waiting for a train that don't know when will arrive and take her....

just like me...

waiting for my application to be replied...

i never notice a train is actually coming before...

and later only i realize....there is a train coming from far...

*(as u can see in the pic, i never notice it before,u can click on the pic for better view)

just like me after the application is replied...

i'm happy for God-know-how...

then i realize again, after zoom in a little bit....

the picture is actually a paint....

it is a paint...

not even a real pic...

not even a person in that pic...

everything is painted...

just like me now...

everything that i thought it to be real for me....

is actually not...

it is just a dream...

just like the paint...

to realize it now...

it is kinda too late...

i don't have place to further my study...

taking back my money, and wait for upu again next year instead...

God....i just lost my future...

i just lost it...

i can't be a doctor...

neither human's or vet...

maybe this is it...

this is FATE...

i can't control it...

I MEANT NOT TO BE A DOCTOR....

and i am not sure i'll get the vet again next year...

i don't even know i can make it to university...

i might as well working...

my future scatted into pieces...

it is torn out....

into many tiny little pieces...

it is so dark....

i can't see any lit coming for me...

all i can do is...

continue to be miserable me....