Wednesday, November 21, 2012

when day doesn't bright.....

when day doesn't bright like it seems,
and night doesn't dark like it meant to be....
when all i have is myself to cry to...
when all i have is me to say to me that 'Everything is going to be ok'....
i don't know what kind of sins i've done...
but this karma is so hard to bare....
i can't sleep at night...
i can't see day light as bright as it seems as my eyes are full of tears...
why it is so hard on me?
now that i has nothing left for that before i have more than i should...
i thought i will be blessed and lucky as i am trying to be faithful...
but no...
nothing is there to bless me....
nothing is there....

just like this favorite picture of mine...


at first, i like it because the lady in this picture is just like me...
in the rain, caught up waiting for a train that don't know when will arrive and take her....
just like me...
waiting for my application to be replied...

i never notice a train is actually coming before...
and later only i realize....there is a train coming from far...
*(as u can see in the pic, i never notice it before,u can click on the pic for better view)

just like me after the application is replied...
i'm happy for God-know-how...

then i realize again, after zoom in a little bit....
the picture is actually a paint....
it is a paint...
not even a real pic...
not even a person in that pic...
everything is painted...

just like me now...
everything that i thought it to be real for me....
is actually not...
it is just a dream...

just like the paint...

to realize it now...
it is kinda too late...
i don't have place to further my study...
taking back my money, and wait for upu again next year instead...
God....i just lost my future...
i just lost it...
i can't be a doctor...
neither human's or vet...
maybe this is it...
this is FATE...
i can't control it...
I MEANT NOT TO BE A DOCTOR....

and i am not sure i'll get the vet again next year...
i don't even know i can make it to university...
i might as well working...
my future scatted into pieces...
it is torn out....
into many tiny little pieces...

it is so dark....
i can't see any lit coming for me...
all i can do is...
continue to be miserable me....

0 wht's on ur mind??: