that feeling of being last in everything

since small, i had been called 

gorilla, 

shrek, 

fiona in beast version,

black,

curly,

giant,

mum size and many more

even sluggish, pending, slow...
hahahah;((((

i am very used to it...really?

no, i am not...

that feeling of being ugly, slow, stupid is always surface...

keep remind me of who i am...

keep holding me back..

and i am so afraid of taking chance, wonder if i will blew it...

i try my best to be at least 'nice to see type' and average grade type...

want to fit in...

but truth is like a shadow...

it won't leave u....

so tired of being me...

can this beast become beautiful one day?

can this slow mind become great student one day?

....just really wish to be better...