It's a part of me

it's a part of me that love to be a good person....
it's a part of me that love to be as bad as i could...
it's a part of me that want to do it right....
it's a part of me that don't know how to do it right....
it's a part of me that love thinking out of box....
it's a part of me that can't think far because there is no enough space for it...
it's a part of me that love musics...
it's a part of me that find it's noisy...
it's a part of me that love playing drum, playing guitar...
it's a part of me that feel so tired of practicing....
it's a part of me that want to be beautiful....working so hard towards it...
it's a part of me that feel so tired of it...can't fight it anymore...
it's a part of me that love fun, weird thing...
it's a part of me that can't take it when it is fun, weird and over board...
it's a part of me that i can take it to be hurt...
it's a part of me that feel so tired of being hurt...
it's a part of me that want love...
it's a part of me that hate love...
it's a part of me that want real life...
it's a part of me that keep telling me...this is real life...
it's a part of me that say ocean is small....
it's a part of me that i can't imagine how big is it...
it's a part of me that say i can always be someone great...
it's a part of me that say...it is impossible already...
it's a part of me that say i can dream as high as i could cause God going to help if i work hard...
it's a part of me that say...i can't dream too high...i am just ordinary person...how can i do that?
it's a part of me that want a better life...
it's a part of me that say..it's ok, this is enough...
it's a part of me that always want to be a saint...
it's a part of me that saying i'm a demon....
it's a part of me that is so exited of the world...
and it's a part of me that say...the world is full of shit....

well...all this parts made me who i am...
all this part made me who i am...
made up my self appearance....
made up my identity...
made up my behaviour...
made up my personality...

and of all...it's some part of me that always wanna fight for a better me...
there is a part of me that's saying...i can do better next time...

even so...there is a part of me that is so scared...
scare to go on...scare to dream...to think....to fight and to even face it...
it is so scary that i can't breathe...
suffocated...
so thin air to take in....just to live....
but i'll fight anyway...because there is no way to run in this world of fate...
it's all based on me....even based on how am i to fight it...
people may find it is easy....and they tell me it is easy....
and when things get hard on them...i wish i'll be there to tell the same...
because people need each other...

and one thing for sure....all the parts of me are saying...i'll be ok :)
IT WILL BE OK :)