UNLUCKY

i feel like i'm not lucky with people....
i'm not what people want...
i'm not fun...outgoing or best company on earth...
i'm like...buzzkiller most of the time...
i can't help but to have this deep deep deep unhappy personality..
i can't quite to shake it off...ever...
so...when people are looking for fun...it's not from me...
but when they have dark time or bad day...there, there is my place...
because i have been through worse...so they might think i have good words to say...
or made a better worse case scenario to make them feel better...

i'm really sick of my stupid life...
i'm so ungrateful now...i don't know how much i can be thankful for having nothing...
yeah...there i put it that way...i have nothing...that bad the way i see my life...really...
God will read this and will of course punish me for it..sure

Goshhh how to live like this? absolute insufficient of everything...
from inside out...
i have no spirits, no motivation, no money and absolutely no knowledge for now...
people are so happy if they get better life than me...but how little they know they already are better...
they don't even need to try...