i think i know my diagnosis....

i think i know why....
since the starting of the semester...
i owe so much...
i guilt a lot and i'm worried...

Owing, Guilt And Worry

3 worst things that are absolutely not healthy for a student....
Student needs to study in a calm and happy environment...
how to thrive with guilt and worries?

no can't do...

and i'm gonna fail in so many levels if i don't manage this things...

i just really can't wait to grads and leave this hell of living behind...
i have never been in so much pain before...
painful to survive and live my normal life...because i don't deserve any of it...

this dream of mine is toxic and has killing every single joy of me and my mum...
this is totally toxic...
and i don't know how to become a doctor one day knowing that i'm gonna blame this all on myself
and to totally throw away my 8 years of life just like that...

i don't know how this journey's gonna end...
will i be happy then?
or will i feel even more guilty?
FML...
really...
no prayers could help...
no good deeds could repair this toxic dream...
no happiness in future can pull me out of this...