i'm scared to go back home...

i don't know why i have this feeling that i'm scared to be at home...

at home..i'm so small...i can't earn, i can't give much and all i'm doing is just laze around using my mum'm money and kill time...

i'm scared i won't make it worth...

i wanna be worth...do something, anything, to show my family that i care for their sacrifices...

i want them to know that i know how much they're going through...

God, i wanna be good daughter and grand daughter...

i wanna be matter...

i wanna contribute...

if only i know how..

but then a voice inside my head;

"Go back sumy, they wanna see you..."

"Go back sumy, house chores is the least you could do"

"Go back sumy, accompany your mum through the nights"

"Go back sumy, just go back, and spend time with them"

"Go back, maybe it's you that need them more then they need you"

"Go back and Wai Phrak, because that's the one thing that always help you through bad times"

"Just go back, and fight the rumors, the talks, or whatever people are thinking out of you"

"Just go back and show people that you're still alive..."

I have no one back at home, just my mum and my grand ma and those puppies...

i have no best friend that so long never met, and missing to hell to meet...nope,

everyone have their own boyfriends and lives that i can't catch up with...

well, whose fault is that? yeah me of course...

i don't bother to keep in touch so who are there to welcome me back?

haihhhhh sadness to be at home is that one thing...

LONELY...