encounter difficult people

have you ever encounter difficult people? difficult here might means not on the same page with you? and they kinda live in the very same book with you so you can't run but to face that page everyday... so difficult and denial until i can't breathe to face them... how can someone be so difficult to deal with? so denial...denying every words you said even if it's true... deny that we don't work out and insist on working it out just as a drama for people to watch... when nobody's watching it then they tend to act normal and careless... how can...

little wake up call for me as 3rd year to be

"Mediocre surgeons will see you and feel themselves wilting in your shadow. Do not shrink to console them. Do not look for friends here. You won't find them. None of these people have the capacity to understand you. They never will. If you're lucky, one day when you're old and shriveled like me, you will find a young doctor with little regards for anything but their crafts. And you will train them like i train you. Until then, read good book. You have greatness in you. Don't disappoint." - Dr. Thomas - This statement above is quoted from Grey...

if only i can escape

i wanna escape from certain kind of people / living... i wanna escape without hurting anyone or myself... but how is that possible? i'm sick of it... i'm so sick of it... so so soooo sooooo soooo sick of it... God, how do i escape it?...

feel like infecting people

"I feel like one of those people who's so freaking miserable and can't be around normal people, like i'll infect the happy people, like i'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress." -Grey.M- well that feeling...is so tr...

doubt

there is this one person that i can't seem to find reason to trust... i can't find any reason at all to trust... at all... If you can trust someone, you wouldn't have doubt in the first place right? means, doubt came with reason right? even if you don't know what the reason is? so, i can't trust you...means there is reason to it right? just saying~ why why why so hard to trust you? w...

can't fight fate

nothing can defeat FATE... if it's written that way, then that's all it is... nothing can defeat it... not even if you want it hard enough, or you deserve it, or you work hard for it... we don't know what have we done in the past and what will come in future... only FATE will lead everything into places... if it's not meant, then it's not... if it's meant to be then it will.... and something that's already fated that way, you can't change it... no matter how much you hate it, want it or run away from it... it will find you, and...

weird thing...

weird thing bout women, everything about feelings and affection is a competition... they see whom come first or after,.... they see are they being chose to be the first one or not... they count every single words that people around them talked...is it offended or cruel in the feeling kinda way... weird isn't it? very very very weird... everyone wanna be special and want to be the first without thinking its actually ok to step back and just be num second or not matter at all... nope, no one figures that out... everyone wanna be in the center...

Cliche

"Hate To See Your Heart Break" Paramore There is not a single word in the whole world That could describe the hurt The dullest knife just sawing back and forth And ripping through the softest skin there ever was How were you to know? Oh, how were you to know? And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before And I, I hate to see your heart break I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close But I've been there before Love happens all the time To people who...

easily awkward

i'm easily awkward...even to my close ones... those who can make me feel totally comfortable and not awkward, that's the winners... i just wanna see if we belong... maybe its too soon to tell from before, but i already set the answer as no...and it still is till now... what is there in the middle i don't know... we just don't belong.... maybe that's the answer, we just don't belong... as simple as that, and i can't force it... only God knows everything...and only Him will allow things to happen... if we don't belong, and not meant for each other...

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i'm scared to go back home...

i don't know why i have this feeling that i'm scared to be at home... at home..i'm so small...i can't earn, i can't give much and all i'm doing is just laze around using my mum'm money and kill time... i'm scared i won't make it worth... i wanna be worth...do something, anything, to show my family that i care for their sacrifices... i want them to know that i know how much they're going through... God, i wanna be good daughter and grand daughter... i wanna be matter... i wanna contribute... if only i know how.. but then a voice inside...