money is fuel

various time i asked myself, should i just pack my stuff and go back?

it's getting to me now that i burden her so much...

money is like fuel here...

you can;t study with no money...

you need money to keep your notes coming, need money so that your brain can be fed,

you need money so that you can live on...internet, water everything...

goshhhh i just hope money falls down from the sky!

i can't ask more from ama...she has been putting up with me enough....

business? 

i'm thinking about it...

but time to read or live also i can barely got good grasp on it...how to leap?

God...the stress get to me...

 i can't bring myself to be ease to study at night...

so stressful...

if i made it to the end...i shall never forget these days that i can't even think of a snack...

because i don't have money to buy that...

God, give me strength...

give me strength...

give me strength...

life is just...so hard, cold and dark sometimes...

Bless me n my mum God...

we just wanna make it to the end...

my selfishness? i will never forgive myself for this...never!

there is no more selfish from now on...

this things must bring good things later on...

lives must be saved, spared and treated well...

yes, i'm making a promise here...

not out of anger, frustrated, stress or sadness, but out of me...

i must do good one day...help me get to that day God...and let money be the last thing

i'm gonna think about then...

hardship shall not be faced by any human on earth...

because it's the most cruel thing on earth...

most cruel~