lega

whenever i call my mum...she'll know exactly what i feel from my voice in the phone... and when i say i'm stress... she'll always know it's not about studying... not that i'm that good...but she knows how much i love learning and never curse the knowledge for being too hard to understand... she knows i have very least interest in human relation... and all she said is...those who give you problem won't give you grads cert or 4.0 or pass the sooca... it's you who will bring yourself there...so, don't bother making them creating your results... focus...

what it feels like?

what it feels like to be; good bad smart stupid rich poor pretty ugly under dog popular friends strangers religious rebelling discipline messy clean awesome fun boring introvert extrovert sick healthy full hungry following managing nervous failing successful on top totally at the bottom? all of these conditions or feeling will always come and go... for a while you might feel 10 of them in a very happy side and another time it's totally different... so what it takes to accept all of these and not being...

there is nothing left to try

...

fragile

if it's that fragile...then it's time to let it go sumy...stop...stop trying so hard just let it go... it's too fragile...that's meant it's never a thing or it's just a pretend......

if it's not making you happy then let it go....

i can bet on my head that this weekend will turn out awful and indeed it does... i don't know where went wrong but it just won't go right... i try my best to do everything as right as possible but things just won't go the way it should... i'm done grabbing it in my hands if it's meant to fly away... broken stuff sometime is not meant to be repaired... i'll just stay where i am and be who i am and wish people the best... i'm here in competition with no one...because i know where i came from... i study...i try....if it's turned out good then...

lovely

รักเคยพัดผ่านมา แล้วลับลาดั่งลม ทิ้งเพียงความขื่นขมอยู่ในใจ เฝ้ารอใครสักคน เมื่อสายลมพัดมาใกล้ อาจเจอใครสักคนที่ไม่ผ่านเลย เพียงสายลมแผ่วๆ ทำให้ใจสั่นๆ เธอคนนั้นเหมือนคนในฝันของใจ เพียงสายตาตรงกัน ทำให้ใจไหวๆ อยากจะรักอีกครั้งได้ไหม ฮึมๆ สายลมแห่งรักพัดมา ขอจงอย่าพารักไป อย่าพัดให้เธอ ห่างไกลให้เราห่างกัน หากลมได้ยินหัวใจ ขอจงเมตตาบ้างสักครั้ง ให้รักได้อยู่คู่กัน ให้เธอได้อยู่คู่ฉันตลอดไป หัวใจที่ขาดรัก เหมือนฟ้าที่ขาดดาว ทุกค่ำคืนเงียบเหงาและอ้างว้าง ได้เจอเธอวันนี้ เหมือนดังปาฏิหาริย์ ฟ้าบันดาลให้รักมาเกิดกลางใจ เพียงสายลมแผ่วๆ...

impossible week

hopeless, impossible and useless week ever... i'm like a sail without direction... i don't know what to do, thinking bout stuffs, worries and even let myself being bothered by useless issues... panic attack? yeah, i think i about to lose it...i can't grab on it... how am i suppose to survive this? it's an impossible week...most impossible one... my works all  are lagging behind, i've never been this useless... God... what's wrong? where is my direction? if this continues, i'm gonna lose it... goshhhh  help m...

money is fuel

various time i asked myself, should i just pack my stuff and go back? it's getting to me now that i burden her so much... money is like fuel here... you can;t study with no money... you need money to keep your notes coming, need money so that your brain can be fed, you need money so that you can live on...internet, water everything... goshhhh i just hope money falls down from the sky! i can't ask more from ama...she has been putting up with me enough.... business?  i'm thinking about it... but time to read or live also i can barely...

Gravity

"Gravity" by John Mayer Gravity is working against me And gravity wants to bring me down Oh I'll never know what makes this man With all the love that his heart can stand Dream of ways to throw it all away Oh, gravity is working against me And gravity wants to bring me down Oh twice as much ain't twice as good And can't sustain like one have could It's wanting more That's gonna send me to my knees Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me Oh gravity has taken better men than me (how can that be?) Just keep me where the...

non toxic

i wanna a non toxic relation.... how to have that with you? i really really have no idea... we will always stuck in this and regret it later... how to solve it? just ho...

no trust left

that look in our eyes when we look at each other...that look that we both know, we don't have trust towards each other anymore... that look that it's killing but still i can't fix mine and neither can you... so....what now? how to life like thi...

don't hate me

"Don't look at me like i'm done learning and i'm your competitors,  i'm still a learner and will always be;  religion, life, science.... i'm still a very learner for all those aspects,  let's learn with me,  don't hate me... let's learn together,  we'll pass through this together...please"...

i need 'my person'

i need 'my person'.... i don't know all of sudden i'm just so envy of those who have 'their person'... you know, someone u text every night before sleep... saying good morning and asking bout lunch... not really a guy...nope...just 'my person' someone you gonna ask, "it's ok if i date that guy" that kind of person... but most of the time... the one i opened up to, are already involved.... sadness of life, of my life... i never really have 'my person' on my own... they are always better off with someone else... and it occurs to me that;...

i'll let this go

maybe you realized that you need to make it up to her.... or maybe you need someone to be there... whatever you do, or do it out of...i shall let this go... i shall care less...yeah i should...why i do i even bother? i shall let this go... i shall let this go... i shall let this go... and yeah i'm trying to wish you well... but you seem to hunt me down everyday... you put me as someone you wanna compete with which i'm so tired of that... you used to be in my prayers...but now you seem to appear more in my curse... and i feel so bad...

stop putting me through miseries....

stop trying to hurt me... stop putting me through miseries... stop seeking things that i can't give you.... DO YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MISERIES IN MY LIFE? i have enough....enough that my life is always on the line that you don't even know about it... you're so used to have everything in life that u can't make yourselves lose one.... and try to hurt me.... i barely have things in life... stop hurting me and look around you... you have enough too... stop seeking, stop being greedy, stop trying to get love or attention...you have...

biarla nie jadi doa

"You are a person who will contemplate and reflect upon your past experiences. That’s why you know how to take advices and apply them to your work, which allows you to achieve your goal quickly. You want to create a bright future. You will meet a new friend who is reliable and supportive, and take you to new opportunities. In the learning aspect, you make bold assumptions and hypotheses that you will prove them right without any doubt. You are able to manipulate new knowledge to improve learning efficiency. As a result, you will have successful...