i'm constantly worried and confuse

i'm constantly worried and confused... i'm constantly scared and weary... i'm constantly feel the depress and loss of faith.... i'm constantly feel small and helpless... i'm constantly need and wanting things that i don't meant to want it... God...please help me...please guide me...please...don't leave me...

Now

แอบเหงา - เสนา หอย ทำตัวตามสบาย เหมือนเช่นทุกทีไม่มีทุกข์ร้อน..อะไรพอดนตรีบรรเลงเพลงที่คุ้นเคยเราเองก็ยังร้อง..ไปถึงคล้ายๆไม่เป็นไรสักหน่อยเเต่พอมองดูคนที่เขามีใครเเม้ว่าผู้คน จะรายล้อมอยู่ยังเผลอเหงาในใจเมื่อไหร่จะมีใครใครสักคนที่เป็นของเราเมื่อไหร่จะมีใคร ใครสักคนนะที่รักเราเท่านี้..ที่ต้องการ ขอเกินไปตรงไหนเมื่อไหร่จะมีใคร ใครสักคนที่เคียงข้างเราเเค่อยากจะมี คนที่ทำให้ใจไม่ต้องเหงา..ไม่รู้..ต้องเมื่อไหร่ เหมือนมันยังห่างไกล..นาฬิกาเวลาเพิ่งจะเที่ยงคืน ผู้คนก็มากมายพอดนตรีบรรเลงเพลงให้เต้นกัน ใครๆเขาก็เต้นไปยิ้มเเละทักทายกับคน รู้จักเเต่คงไม่มีใครลึกซึ้งใจเราทั้งที่ผู้คนก็รายล้อมอยู่...

sins

i never know it's this much sins to be a woman... i know we are in the era where there is no discrimination and all...but it's in the DNA that women are different from men and have so much of lacks and flaws in it... i feel sorry for women... sorry that we have so much emotions, hormones, and urge to want a guy so bad... sorry for that women 'are told' or have the mentality that men are everything...that men are the rule for women to be happy or sad...that their presence determine who we are or how good we should be... rarely women around me...

how weak i can be

i never i can be this weak...i never know...

Environment

I used to live in a school that people find it's stupid to dwell with feelings and to dream of relationships are ridiculous. Then, here i am at a place where everyone is dreaming of having perfect relationships and all i'm listening to is about relationship issues. So i kinda be in an adaptation for this. How to live in this place where people are talking about "Does he love me?" more than "How are we gonna study for this topic?"  I...

Fear

have you ever have fear? i bet everyone does... Will Smith used to say "I use my fear, fear of failure to drive me through" why my fear doesn't seem to be able to drive me through it? why fear seems to hold me back... This fear of failure...this fear of things changing...this fear of losing things, people and moments... God...how to cure this? They say cure your fear with faith...but i can't seem to do so... Why am i so weak? why am i so attach to fear? why am i shaking when i'm suppose to be brave and have faith with my life...but i feel...

Light

i wanna be someone who is light in her sleep, light in her eating, light in her needs, i wanna be someone who sits there happily to see someone else's happy... i wanna be light in my needs and heavy on her gratitude towards things that come to her life... i want to be a human who don't want much, and light on things, anger, lust and greed... God...help me...guide me through my path...guide me so that i can find myself out there who is at least half of what i want to become... I want to be good...i want to be glad and thankful...God...plea...

This is too long

This is too long... Im wasting my time here... Wasting money and energy... When i should be taking care of my mum.. Not busting my ass here and wasting her money and time not to be taken care of... My God what have i done with my life?? Im regret...regret being too dumb too stupid too ignorant too shallow to think it through before making my decision 3 years ago... My God...what have i done... I should be home taking care of her....

it's sad that it's all turned out to be the same...

it's saddened me that all of the people i know turned out to be the same when it comes to relationship... i don' t want to be like that if i'm in one...but who am i to think i can make it turns out differently... sure will be the same thing anyway...maybe that's why it's so hard for me to try one... maybe i'm not ready to lose myself yet...