why i want to change the line?

it strikes me hard; ''Why i want to change line?'' why i chose Medicine over Biochemistry or Veterinary before? why i chose the least possible compare to the possible one? why i had been so reckless betting on my own time, my feelings, and most of all my future? it occurred to me before that i might lose them all and yes...it happened to me... i lost them all... i can't go where i want, what's already in my hand, i let them go... at last, all i grab is empty air.... and now i'm still asking myself...why did i do that to myself? and why...

"Who You Are"

"Who You Are"  by JESSIE J. I stare at my reflection in the mirror: "Why am I doing this to myself?" Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf. No, no, no, no, no... Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, Just be true to who you are! Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah! The...

change is not easy

i ask myself....what do i want to write tonight.... i wanna update this blog... at least, it's a sign i still have strength left to say some words... i'm on my way to believe that i can change.... so that it will bring me to 'a change'... then i'll do what ever it takes to change... so then, i'll change... not completely but as a process... one step at a time... today, i've done my best on waking up early,  tomorrow, i'm gonna add exercising,  the next day i'm gonna add on studying, then each day soon, will be better and...

wondering...what kind of life i'll have in the next 5 years??

i can't see it... i can't predict it... i can't even guess about it... ''What u did back then, will give the same amount of payback to you, won't be more or less'' -Buddha- i don't know how much i've done good deed back then... and i don't know this thing that i want, suit it or not... but i hope, it's not a sin to try... but then now... i'm too scared just to try... first step, starting point is always the hardest... i'm finding reasons, lazy n sleepy every time i'm about to start doing it... goshhh what happen to me? haven't...

it'a already February....

stress suddenly hit me in the face right after looking at the calendar... i've got only 4 months to go... lots of topics to cover and i'm still here wasting time on regrets, fears, and doubt... Sumithra, why don't u wake up and start anew? why don't u just be brave and make the best out of it?!! why keep struggling with fears and doubt?? it's going to be ok sumy... this one, this time...u know what should do... at least for now, everything u know is strong enough to make u believe again... go sumy! let's start now! let's get busy with...

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