How wrong is a dream??

Once dream can be real if it is a right one... Most dreams scattered because it is a wrong one... This is not pessimism.... But one wise man said " don't set your dream too high tht you can't make to archive it..." It is true n I learn it hard way...some may say I deserve it, to dream tht high..well they're wrong... And some say I'm not worth it...well they're right... God shows me how real this world I live in... and teaches me tht I need to be real...thank God...I need a wake up call....i always am......

another Tarot...

''You are now indulging in the past and unwilling to look to the future. That leads to the changes that should have carried out to a standstill, and thereby causes the formation of a deadlock. You are reluctant to move forward into the future. This will not only prevent you from growing, but also blocking you from new opportunities. Be considerate and let your wisdom plays its due role. You need to improve your learning method in order to achieve good results....

slimming?

my mum asked; why not u try slimming drink?? let's try... i've been thinking...i wanted to..but then, it costs a lot... i think it's better to save money for books soon... haihhh let's get to bachelor first la...then only will think bout beauty... actually now, i'm on my 'diet-tak-diet' thing  ngeeee;pp i can't get the weight down...at least it won't go up... let's stay like this for now... my health is still fine due to my age, metabolic rate is still running (for now)... i'll try on work out more n eat less la;ppp chayok! ;...

i've learned...

....PATIENCE.... such a simple word, but yet with lots of 'e', this before that and sound a bit like science... ok enough with my freak on 'over' =_=''' what i'm trying to say is, PATIENCE is not as simple as it sounds.... i've learned it hard way... i've waited for something since jan, result is on july...after result out, enrollment in sept... (this is all bout 2012) -you know what i mean- but then around june, something came in, had my attention...so i extend the wait til nov... and at last, it's all cancelled,  so now i...

where do you set your happiness??

where do you set your happiness? best score? big house? new car? new bike? get bonus? lots of friend? perfect? all of these can bring happiness to you of course... but is it long? WHAT ABOUT THESE??; Happy to further relationship from just friends to best friends... Happy to say 'I Love You Mum, Dad'... Happy to be able to apply the knowledge you learned compare to getting best score.... Happy to earn things from your hard work rather than some else giving... Happy to be able to finish works based on your planned schedule.... Happy...

so true....

i click on Daily Tarot on FB... and i don't know...it's just really me... ''You will fail from your careless and inability to focus. You are becoming low in self-esteem and jealous of others’ achievements because of there is no opportunity for you to play out. You only follow your own ways and don’t care what other people think. You are having trouble in making progress as you are having hard time to stick with your learning methods. Thus, you will not do well on exams.'' it's just....me...no...

a little motivation.....

thanks to Mustaza Syirin's tumblr reblog.... let go of the past....let go of old you...do it again...start a new... even this is the tenth, hundredth, thousandth times of your 'new start'.... just start again.... do it again... renew the plan.... DO IT AGAI...

is it meant...giving up?

i have all reasons to give up and walk away... since my first trial, is not what it's looked like.... and turned out the other way round.... and now i'm telling myself to have faith and try it again... it went well for couple of weeks.... but now i realize... i don't try anymore... i get lazy... i waste most of my time finding reason not to put myself to study... i give up is it? in my head, all i think is ;  It won't happen, it will fail anyway, it's out of my league, bla..bla..bla... all these thoughts made me who i am today... all...

scared and fear does kill..i learned it in hard way~

because of scared, i've been too miserable to myself... i scared to choose, i scared to step ahead, i scared just to imagine who i can become... i have dreams...but then they all lie in deep deep ocean, too scared to get surfaces.... but now.... i'm gonna dive and bring it up... make it reaches the surface and even bring it to the shore... God, please give me strength... i understand why i keep can't get to where i want... it's all because i'm scared... too scared to say, too scared to act, too scared to participate... it's just too...

do i have the quality to be a Doctor?

i wish since small (in silent) to become a doctor... but each day past...i've been thinking, do i have the quality to be one? they say ''You just have to be brave enough to see what your fate is, it is inside yourself'' and...i keep thinking...do i have gut to be a doctor? i applied Animal Health because i think i might be suitable with something less hard than Human Doctor... but  now, i feel regret on my Diploma...and working on my FIS test to further study in Medical Degree... God...am i doing the right thing? or should i just accept...

Mr. Right Guy

Every woman wishes to finally meet her Mr. Right Guy... the price charming that has been dreaming about since little... Don't worry dreamers!!;)  You will find one soon... he's there somewhere fighting his journey to meet you too... and trust me, i've been waiting too;p even i try my best to avoid thinking about it... who the hell don't want happiness?? but sure, every happiness has it's own cost... if you willing to find it, fighting for it then you will get there... risk is a condition for happiness....it is... and the problem...

trying to finish....

mannn where's time?...

just when??

one thing i've never experienced in life is being THIN =_=''' goshhh just when?!! >.< i've tried everything...exercises, strict diet, healthy drink...bla..bla...bla... it's just never get where i wish to... damn it, i'm gonna try harder!! >.< goshh...

a lilbit heart attack for the phone call

thanks to the phone call...bring me back to reality.... the reality on what actually i'm waiting for and what i'm fighting for... need more strict preparation.... SATHUK~ all i need is FAITH & STRENGTH... God, save me.... plus, today is 10th of January... have to go buy BSN pin for upu... let's hope there is some lucks for me... SATHU...

they say in friendship; 'The Lesser The Warmer?''

all i can say is...the lesser way in the understanding way, will of course feel warmer~ thank God....u bless me with such warmt...

Way To Pursuit Happiness

what a meaningful movie!! staring Will Smith and his son... about Christ Gardner and his way to be a successful stoke broker... He does believe he can do something and be someone one day... he walks by a giant company everyday just to see how happy a successful person can be... they step in and out of the office everyday after parking their gorgeous car... Christ Gardner did ask one of them;  ''I wanna ask you just one question sir, how do you get to do this?'' by pointing at the car... ''Just need to be good with numbers man''  later...

Sickness

i got bad news this morning, one of my auntie just died of chronic diabetes.... she got her legs cut off before and many more complications... R.I.P auntie... next, one of my dog undergoes pregnancy complication... her front right limb got pus and swollen... her hind right limb also got the same thing plus a cut... i went to Pejabat Veterinar Tumpat to get cream for the cut and a dose of medicine for her weakness... pity Hangduan, that's her name...she's daughter of my previous Dam... i get the pus out by pressing them to flow out...and...

Keep It Up!

''Life molds itself into the shape of your actions, do something long enough and you become it.'' shall try my best on STUDY. HEALTH-EAT. SLEEP management!!! God, give me strength...so that i can control my mind... so that i can control what i should be doing, and focus on present at most.... i hate myself for losing track of time easily;((( waaaaaaa!! ottoke???!!!! >.<&nbs...

worst phase of life (2012 flash back)

this is the worst phase of my life =_=''' -2012- got dream... got faith... got opportunity... decision making.... wait...wait...wait..  ~8months then, all of sudden everything's gone...GONE fall...break...hurts...lonely...feel stupid...lessons...adaptation wake, get up again... stand... -2013- get to dream again....must be able to dream again...don't scared don't give up! have faith again... try again... work on it... wait...wait...wait... ~7months more to go... then, only i shall know what will happen... where...

that feeling....

have u ever feel that feeling of cold, dark and empty?? that comes from losing something?? when u actually feel it, u might have lost something without your conscious....  or you actually already aware of it, but u can't do a thing about it... well, let's hope it goes fast... i really hate 'feeling' stuff....

answer to ''WHY I'M SO TIRED?''

i feel so down and so tired to fight through all these goals and outlines that i have been drawing for myself...  i come to the 'stuck' moment where i can't fight any more... i feel so tired just to read, to re-study all of the stuff.... but then i found a book on my shelf;  ''100 Ways to Motivate Yourself''  by Steve Chandler, on the 9th topic;  Build a Track Record it's written;  ''It's not what we do that makes us tired, it's what we don't do.  The tasks we don't complete cause the most...

really wish for a pity...just a tiny little pity..God, just please look at me, take care of me too...

...

do u know how tired once get to lose faith? i tell u, to hv faith again is even more tiring...

God, my dream got scattered and i can't even see where the pieces gone... i had faith, i dreamed, i tried, i prayed... but it turns out, i'm dwelling with karma.... karma that waits for such right time to hit on me... and it did hit hard... God, i know You try to teach me to be strong to go through this... but i'm too tired just to give it another shot... to have faith again is not a small deal... it's tough, and it's hard... it's too hard for me... how can i hope again? how can i try again? when i know, failure is there, waiting for...

Horoscope FREAK!! >.<

hehe So, here is Aries 2013 Overview; Dear Aries, 2013 amps up the themes of finance, sexuality, debt and change as Saturn prepares to overhaul this house of your horoscope until 2015. The good news is that you shall no longer feel all of the stress and strain (or dry spell) around relationships as you have since late 2009. The door is wide open to meet someone new or totally transform an existing relationship. The key words are depth, passion and intensity. Are you ready to get more intimate with your self and others than ever?...

NEVER good enough...

i am just...never good enough... not a good Buddhist... not a good daughter... not a good person... not a slim woman... far from pretty... not a good student... far from bright... not a good friend... far from best friend type... everything just never good enough... yes, i never try hard enough....is it? the answer is YES.... i can't appreciate myself as i never really work hard for myself to be appreciated... and i can't tell how much sorry i felt for myself.... NEW YEAR is here.... so maybe, new year resolution is to...