i'm so lost right now

maybe the best thing now that occur to me is me accepting that i'm lost...ok let's start from there...

i can't study...

i can't focus...

i'm worried...

i'm so worried...

i'm so stuffed with worries...

worry of my status in learning, in grades, in socials and even in health...

why am i so worried all the time?

i can't even have a proper sleep...it'll be either too much or too little...

i can't remember when that i'm not worried and happy...

i can't...

i need help...

i need support...

i need cheers from people around me..

but everyone seems to have their own issues...

i can't put my burden on anyone else but lately i can't seem to control my emotions, 

my part as friend seem to fade away...

i can't support people...and i can't even bring myself to actually listen to them...

i need someone..

who understand me..

but to let them understand that means i'm already burdening them with my stupid endless problems

which i don't want that...not that i can't be seemed weak...but i just don't wanna be weak...

i wanna be able to handle my life...

i wanna make sure i can handle my life...

readers...might find this ridiculous or small issues of insecure teenage or something...

but seriously...i can;t stand on my feet...

i can;t study...

i can;t figure how to...or what i should do...

and when i list down what i need to do...i just lost motivation to do it...

why?

what happen to me?

hatred?

proud?

or what did i do wrong, that life is punishing me this way?

what lesson should i learn from this?

why i don't get it?

what to do?

what kind of help should i seek?

i'm so depress now...thinking bout what to do and how to solve it...

i wasted my time like they mean nothing...

am i giving up already?

God...send me some lights...

show me ways...

I NEED HELP

open my eyes...so that i can see further than this...open them God...open my mind...

let me see, let me be able to think...pleaaseee i'm begging you~