#curhat

i have been waiting enough for the past sem... i wait for everything and everyone.... i waited... i waited for sooca drafts, i waited for mdes, i helped out osce and nearly burned mine, i waited for so many people that if i have only five years to live, it'll mean nothing... so wise man once said; "In college, you gonna find yourselves waiting for your people  more than you waited for your queue, or food orders " so, i have decided to not wait anymore...i can't wait no matter how much i wanted to... because i nearly 'die'...

where it went wrong?

i asked myself many times, where it went wrong? i can't concentrate, i can't study, i can't bring myself to involve much in tutorial and even far off can't bring myself to do good in sooca...for the past sem, i've been...off track... then it all goes down to "CONFIDENCE" i miss to have that... i miss being able to talk... i miss being able to explain... i miss being able to accomplish tasks... i can't do all those stuff last sem... i thought i can...i try and try and try and try...but turned out, nothing improved... i failed my...

so it's about the bounce

"They say, how low you fall doesn't matter....but how high you bounce back is what that's count" "How you being able to bounce back is the measure of success" "semangat sumy....yg lepas dah lepas....biarla...sekarang focus kat ape yg ad...

God...it's getting harder

from the start until now...i thought i will be able to adapt to anything that's coming cause every single day of our life must have taught us for upcoming tomorrow.... but...it's getting harder God... it's getting harder and harder... i just can't seem to be able to cope with it... last sem...i'm thankful for my result but..i know i can do better.... so, that make me sad...the feeling of 'i know i can do better'.... actually what if that's all you? that's all...what u get is u... that's all... isn't it? yeah...it is... i have to...

God plans further than that

various time, i ask myself...should i be selfish and being so well with my life or just suffer with all the bothers on earth  and doing not so well with my life? and i ended up choosing the second one.... i chose to help, spend more time on something that's not for myself...and it's a lie if i said i don't regret it... my life is walking, running chasing the time...well who doesn't? but it's more tiring to see there are those who choose to ignore other people and just run in their own time... i can't do it...i can;t be a total selfish...

"Even a fool they say can find a way out of the dark"

"Out Of The Dark" by Matt Hires I'm burned out and wasted I'm tired of pacing I'm busy erasing voices of the dead Everything changes And everyone's faceless I wanna replace this darkness in my head In a strange strange place, I'm lying on the edge of a star In these violent days, I only wanna be where you are Even fools they say... can find a way out of the dark Of the dark Help me out of the dark Have I been a sinner? A lover, a killer? Cause the world I've discovered It feels nothing like my heart I wanna escape it Or...

what about my 2014?

it passed so fast that i don't even know what it's was about.... yeah sorta have to scroll down my fb wall to see what happened in that passed year... hmmmm  if i say, chaos? if i say patience? if i say adapting? if i say managing? and worries? yeah that's basically my 2014... sound negative aren't it? but seriously...it's a year of chaos... i don't know it's just me or it's the whole world.... my lovely motherland, Malaysia got hit by various challenges never end, and me myself can't seem to have it differently... studies, friends,...