have you ever been out of brain to think or act for your life?

i am at that stage that im out of brain on how to live my life... money doesnt seem to be enough no matter how much i try to cut my usage... things keep coming for me to just pay pay and pay... no income whatsoever... and im struggling to stay sane throughout this,,,and im certainly not a saint to stay fine 24/7... im tired of being me from time to time...and this might be the most disgusting phase... i just cant wait to pass all of these and have a better life...yeah talk like my life is so much in hell right now...someone is being ungrateful...

How to do this

one thing i dont like having is to have professional situation with my dear ones...because i tend to be serious and turn into a complete different person...and tht will make them hate me...for years of my existence...i have never been able to solve this problem just yet... im 'bipolar' when it comes to jobs...and i just cant be funny or kidding in it...and when i try to...my results gone to hell all because i wanna be polite... #sad #how #Godhelpme...