that feeling being in the middle of Belgium chocolates

i'm that type that i came from cocoa tree...that type chocolate that not yet being process... but those people around me? they are Belgium Chocolates...that already being process, packed and sell so nicely on store... i can't bring myself there with them because i'm not the same... and the best part is none of them even try to be with me... i'm always the one who need to try to be there with them... which i learned it hard way... so from now on, why i even bother? let's just live where i am...and let's see who i'm gonna meet in my way then... let's...

sadness of life...

the sadness of life is that when you don't realize who you actually are... and you have been trying to be someone else and some how some day you're getting tired of failure to be someone else that you realize why can't you be yourselves to get what u want?  why you need to be someone else to get what you want or to where you want to be? i have been thinking....if other person study for 5 hours and can get A...then why i need to study 3 days for that? so it bugged me real bad...can i live the way they live and get what they get? NO i...

so father's day is here

i know i'm not the only one... father, dad, daddy, papa...those words i never use them in my life... sad in a view but another is curiosity...curious how it feels like to have one... but God is fair...i have awesome uncles... they do take care of me well... may be it's my price to pay... i have awesome mum... my life will be too perfect if i have a dad...haha no matter where you are...as much as i can do...is to pray for your well being... i used to hate, angry and despise all your doings...but at the end of the day, i won't be here in...

a bit more to go...but yet so far...

nnt dah nak abis final dah.... then judisium...then balikkkkk but yet got super camp...so, leh balik kejap jek...ntt cuti 3 mggu jek...org lain bkn main 2/3 bln...haiyaaa it's okkkk super camp gonna be fun!! ner g kampung2...but still don't know wht we need to do later.... sathuk...few more papers to go... sathuk...hope pass al...

FINAL IS HERE

FINAL REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM SEM 2  is here...yeah not kidding... dah abis 2 papers... BHP II  PHOP II and SOOCA in one day... haiyooo 13 cases to understand and analyze and memorize.... die die die... this sem result will determine everything in my life for the next 1 year.... goshhhh i really need to do good for this one.... the question is not can? it is...how? die die die... show me some light....if You already showed me one...please let me see it... sathuk.....

i never did...hard enough...

i never pray hard enough... i never study hard enough.... i never love hard enough... i never care hard enough... i never concern hard enough... everything i did in life is in ignorance level... because i'm always too scared to go deeper... deeper makes me hope more...and when i hope, if i fail, i'll get hurt... there are lots of reasons why people fail in life... one of it is scared to be successful... because i can't accept the fact that  what i'm getting is worse than what i used to achieve... God...i shall pray more... at...