i know....

ok let's see how's my life here...

Unpad, Jatinangor, Bandung, Indonesia

it has been 2 months i'm here...nothing much, same food, same people, same environment...

maybe slightly different la...but i might say...nothing much...

now i'm going through Mid Term Examination...it's the very first exam i have here as medical student...

first paper just passed...i mean the exam..not the paper..haha result not yet out, but hopefully will pass...sathuk...

others;

BHP,

SOOCA,

PHOP,

FBS II

yup...another 4 to go...and all are kinda killing to me especially SOOCA and FBS II...

today was FBS I....and i can feel that i screwed it up real bad...but God...i do what i can do...and i will try harder next time...God, i'm so sorry...i wasted my chance...i'm really3 sorry :(((

let's talk bout SOOCA...

one and most famous exam around here...every time seniours come,  

this is what they will talk about...

SOOCA is sort of oral test...but not a normal one...it's a problem based learning that

most of medical uni will apply on students...

you will be given a case, and from there you have to discuss about the mechanism, fbs, treatment and plus ethics...

It's a fun exam actually...it's like you will be 'interviewed' by two doctors....so the students will learn lots of new things especially diseases that normally will only learn in year 2 or 3 above...but now, we in year one, already learn a bit about it...so it kinda expose us to future lessons...

wish me luck!

i'm really hoping i will pass all the exams and can get myself Malaysia government loan...haihhh

God, i can say it's so hard...but i chose it...

so, all i can do now is just doing my best and hope the best from that....

sathuk...

God, give me strength...

it seems like things have been changing a little...

before, all i was thinking is just to fulfill my mum's wish and of course my own, but then, i found the knowledge is pretty thrill to be learned, everything is like puzzles to be solved, but later after that, i found out that, to learn, to be able to apply and to make someone else happy by helping them is even so much better...my perception about this carrier evolves from time to time...i am so surprise by what i get to know in my daily journey here...i am wondering what will i know tomorrow....

p/s; my first exam is coming...in like...10 days? God, give me strength to go through it....sathuk.....

bring me through...

God...please bring me through...

i will remember....

i will remember how hard my life is....

how it is impossible to just buy rice to eat...

how it is impossible to just buy ticket and go home....

and how hard it is to always have to think about money, study, and motivate myself not to give up...not even when life tells me every possible to just give up...

i don't know why i keep holding on...

i seriously don't know....

still haunted by worries

no matter where i go, no matter how far i walk...one thing that for sure will track me down is WORRIES....
then come FEARS...and then all i need to do to make sure i can deal with it is...be BRAVE....but it is not easy...really...sometime, u just need someone else to help you with the 'brave building'...but not every time u will have someone by ur side, and not everyone can help u that way...God...i'm so thankful that whenever i am lost...i can always pray to You, ask You for guidance....i'm so sorry if anyway i have forgotten You...God, forgive me....