feel like so long never up date...

well, it is quite a life i have here... tough, mentally and physically... i need to accept people the way it is, by understanding... which,  to understand something or someone is actually a great deal... but not until you find you... you see you talking, you see you act, you see you in front of yourself... i met someone....exactly like me... every time she talks, acts, it seems like me... but not 'me' now, but 'me' then.... before i see the small matter, matter.... before i see life is actually not always that beautiful flower...

Martin Luther King, Jr.

just keep goinggggg..... ...

stand on the ground....

sometime, all u need is just to be able to stand on the ground and feel that everything that moves underneath you is real and you're able to rest your heart upon it... but, it gets blur for me... can you imagine...to be asking yourself every now and then 'am i doing the right thing?' 'what am i doing?' 'it is right?' it is totally screwed up my head... and all i need is just a sign...tell me, what should i do? what should i decide? what should i think?...

it's just...so blur now

all i hope is...it is going to be better.....

In The Deep

''In The Deep''  by Birdy York Thought you had all the answers to rest your heart upon. But something happens, don't see it coming, now you can't stop yourself. Now you're out there swimming... In the deep. In the deep. Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles till you... Let go. Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven, and you throw yourself off. Now you're out there spinning... In the deep. In the deep. In the deep. In the deep. And now you're out there spinning... And now you're out there spinning... In...

so good...

to be thankful to life the way it is... to be minimalist.... to be humble... to be such a good prayer... to be good... to be such a saint child... to be honest... to be able to love without wanting any love back... to be self less... to sacrifice for good... to be wise... independent... to be able to help... to be able to smile with whole-hearted... to love... so much wonders to treasure...to try...to become.... sathuk.... ...

my last chance....

i don't wanna write about it because every time i did, it chao away....damn... anyway, wish me luc...

why do i want this...again? =_='''

i've been thinking....since when i like it such a hard hard hard life?? and why am i even done this stupid decision? shall i be thankful for that God has stopped me from dumb move? so, now, i'm questioning myself...it is that necessary? it is that worth all of these wasted time, money, hope and my mum supports? goshhh what have i done to myself??!! why am i having such a rush of determination out of reckless, so suddenly? now that i don't know what should i do... shall i just let it go?? i'm grasping it for too long that i feel so tired,...

i hate to say that i'm stressed by....

i am stressed by my failed life...of course, but one more thing...is my weight... ever since, i have never been in good shape like any other people... well, i'm perfectly healthy and far from deformed... however, most people treat fat people like one... yeah, of course yes, why not right?  because we seems to indulge ourselves, not care about health n look.... what can u say right? yes, it is true that society needs to hate fat people,  because it can be a push button for that they won't be happy with how they look  and...