it is....

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maybe one day...seeking ends

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NAK!!!! ;(((((((((((

another RM200 to go for u.... gosh... chayok!!!^^ raya nie kerja lg...

just share what i feel like sharing...so, u too will feel it~

i blame everything for the sake i can't get what i want... even blame myself, family, n lots... but i never realize how much i blame God by that.... how much i am rude n not stay on the ground... i should know this is a lesson, not opportunity....which i have doubted long ago.... n it shows now....luckily i'm not too flattered by it...but a bit carried away....a bit of confusion, lots of stress n lots of emotionally depressed....but now i know...now i can breathe healthily...no more suffocated...thank God for ur great help...for sending someone...

at last....

i trust Him maybe...ak memang btol2 xlayak...ape la sgt offer letter compare to bless from God... it doesn't mean anything.... sekali lg....offer letter yg akn dibiar letak lam kotak mcm yg len2 yg dulu... at last ak pilih jugak nak jd patung lam list upu.... maybe the show will be great... only God knows how i feel... only those who care knows how badly injured i am now.... but i guess....nobody does~ all i can say is... i shall trust Him... He knows evrything...better than anyone else... i shall trust Him... n this is the best.... i should ...

can i say yes?

can i say yes, i can do it?? but nothing shows i can say it out... nothing in me say i can do it... background, personality, my brain...haha nothing say i can do it... n how am i suppose to say yes? just passion? will it last long? will i survive with just that single word? what am i suppose to do?............

any warmth?

where can i find some warmth?? it's so cold here...very icy cold~ n lonely.....

Eyes open~

TAYLOR SWIFT "Eyes Open" Everybody's waiting Everybody's watching Even when you're sleeping Keep your ey-eyes open The tricky thing Is yesterday we were just children Playing soldiers Just pretending Dreaming dreams with happy endings In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords But now we've stepped into a cruel world Where everybody stands and keeps score Keep your eyes open Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown Everybody's...

part of life

i live my life worrying about my mistake... she lives her life thinking about what mistake i'll do...what mistake i've done n try to put everything on the track... i am tired of listening...while my head's thinking in other way...n she's tired trying to make it her way... everyday...every moment past....i know i'm gonna regret every single moment i ignore her nagging... n she knows how much i hurt for all those 'knify' words... but this is a part...

i think...it's my call

i think it's my call... and what my heart says...of course! tipu la klu xnak.... what my mind says...better no, this burden is too hard for her to bear...if u alone then it's fine..but u dragging other people along...and it's not ur principle to let her suffers for u.... and now that i say...i better forget what's in my heart...like i never do it before! ahah! let's get another round! but this time...i will go through it with smile...i have been training for 3 years! another 4 won't hurt^^ bring it on!!! u can do this sumy!! let's make it clear!...

i'm not sure if....

i'm not sure if it is a test or a way for me to get going.... i'm really3 not sure if God wants to punish me or give me a very special present... i'm not sure if i can be selfish or selfless in this kind of time..... God, u tests me hard this time...real ha...

a simple mail voice for HIM~

dear God, i'm so small that u might need microscope to look from up there...but please hear my voice bcuz it's so loud needing ur attention....i'm no one without u...i'm all alone in my deep2 thought of decision...i can turn to no one but to u to find the answer...and u answer me...just now, u said it's hard but it's good...is that mean i should do it? but i need a whole lot of hard work, smarty, n luck? i just really feel like i'm in a dark room...waiting for someone to open the door bcuz i can't open it on my own...my hands are tied, i sit at...

should i? can i?? am i??

how far can i be? how dare can i be? how deep can i go? am i able to bare it? am i able to do it? is it meant to be? is it fate? can i do it??? can i? is it a suicide decision agai...